Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
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