Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
