THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
Randomize
