Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
