i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
