you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
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