yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Randomize
