did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
Randomize