I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Randomize
