OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Randomize
