just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
Randomize
