It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
