Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize
