He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
Randomize
