if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
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