we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
Randomize
