Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
