One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
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