Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
Randomize
