The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
Blood and glitter go together right?
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
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