found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
