what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Randomize