its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
Go christen that room with your naked body.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
Randomize
