you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
Randomize
