FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
Man, jail baloney is awful.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
Randomize
