Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
Randomize
