I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
Randomize
