Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
Randomize