so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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