hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
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