Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
