But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
Sponge bath it is.
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
You are a booty call, not a friend.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
I deserve this hangover.
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
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