sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Randomize
