What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Randomize
