That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
