good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
Randomize
