at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
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