Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
Randomize
