if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
