Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
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