Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
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