is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
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