Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Randomize
