Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
Randomize
