HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
