3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
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