What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
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