it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
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