This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
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