Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
She announced her abortion via fbk
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
