I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
That reminds me...we need to get swords
drinking out of a sandbucket again
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Randomize
