You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
