This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
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