Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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