I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
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