tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
Randomize
