I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
Slut skills are useful in every country.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
Randomize
